(sound of beer can opening)

I drove drunk once.

I left a bar...I was young(er). On the way out I tripped and dumped my purse all over the bouncers feet. They helped me pick my crap up while I laughed. I got in the car. I drove to my boyfriends house.

Did I kill anyone?
Did you?

I hope not.

Save yourself some sorrow and call a cab.